Out of the Mouths of Babes

My youngest son is home from school on the edge of better with strep throat. He's not contagious at this point thanks to modern medicine but he doesn't feel good so he's home. He's 8. He's made me snort today, no not cocaine, I dont do that sort of thing, but like laugh myself silly snorting till he makes fun of me "Mommmmm" ::giggle:: Here's how it started.

Now keep in mind. He's 8. He thinks all things related to the bathroom and bodily functions are hysterical.

I'm standing and getting juice glasses down and he comes and stands beside me while we discuss how he feels and whether he thinks school is a good idea today. Now I realize that might be dangerous, but he LIKES school so he's honest about it. He prefers to go so this isn't out of the ordinary. When suddenly he farts loud.

Now normally this would be a cause for me to sigh while he laughs and my older son makes loud comments about the entire thing but today is different. Today I say his name as if to remind him to say "excuse me" and he looks at me with a super overdramatic arched eyebrow (you seriously would have to see this face) and goes "what, THAT wasn't me, it was YOU!" and he doesn't laugh at all. His change in tactics make me take that mental step back and then I explode in laughter. So much for my stance that farting isn't funny.

But that wasn't the end. After the bus comes and son1 rides off, he's watching cartoons while I get ready for work. He comes running in:

"Mom! They just called Allstate Poop!"
me: "What?"
son2: "They just called Allstate poop. And Geiko they are poop too"
me: "who did?"
son2: "the commercial"

To clarify he's offended. My mom works at Allstate and he thinks we are in very good hands.

5 min later, he comes to report another offensive commercial. I'm intrigued but I am getting ready and really who knows what sort of mud slinging commercials someone is putting out there and at least its not calling them real offensive language right?

So we head out to work and he hangs out a little and afterwards he wants to stop by the Allstate office. So we do. And he has to tell the poop story to everyone in there. He's hugely offended and gesturing in incredulousness (if that is even a word). My mom is smart though: "Did they use the word poop"

son2: "they called Allstate poop" and then he proceeds to tell how much money they claim you are paying/losing for various companies

mom: "did they actually say the word 'poop'"

son2: "No, not really, but that is pretty much what they were SAYING right?"

He's so smart. He got the underlying message and translated the profanity to language I could understand LOL