If you are going to be in the kitchen, at least do the dishes...

So the mouse was sighted! I screamed. I admit it. No, it wasn't because the mouse that decided to move in is actually the rabid thing in my previous picture, but I was heading for a late night snack last night...(this should teach me but it probably won't) when
out of the fruit bowl arose such a flutter
I screamed out of my head to see what was the matter...
a little brown mouse ran across the counter,
crossed over the stove and into the corner....

ok it doesn't rhyme. So sue me. Its a work in progress. Sort of like our song of the weekend:

(to the tune of Love you Like a Love Song Baby)
(and from the dog...)

I love you like a big bone baby
I love you like a big bone baby
I love you like a big bone baby
and I'll drool all over your faaaaacccceeee....

yes I know, also work in progress. I'm never going to bust into the song writing business.

Anyway so I was reaching for the sourdough bread and up popped the little mouse out of the bowl and across the counter and yes (how did you KNOW?) across the stovetop and into the corner. Here's the deal, mouse in our house...

You may NOT go up my pants!
I will not kick you out, but you are not allowed pets!
And, really, if you are going to fruit bowl dive, at least do the dishes. They were still here this morning and seriously, I thought it was understood that if any rodents, squirrels, birds, or of course mice (that is YOU) moves in that they have to pull their weight with the housework. I'll sing crazy songs, whatever. (You've seen Disney you KNOW how this works) and you will do the work...

and maybe make me a dress...

all pretty with ribbons and stuff, you'll need the birds for that....

No I don't have anywhere to wear that sort of thing, but it would be beauuuuutiful watching it be made.

Yes, I AM SERIOUS.


Good, I think we understand each other now.

Because it's a WAR out there....

So my oldest son comes home from school the other day. "Mom! Today we watched this movie at school all about the plague. There was a war and the peasants were trying to fight the castle and someone catapulted the body of someone who died of the plague over the castle wall and the narrator said 'then after a few weeks blood was flowing in the streets'"

me: "ewww. Its never a good idea to turn loose a major disease like that."

son: "don't worry, if you died, I'd never fling your body over the wall." (Nevermind that there are no castles nor walls nearby, but I get that we are talking really hypothetical.)

me: "what? you mean if there was a war?"

son: "Yes. It's WAR mom, but I wouldn't fling your body. Maybe just your finger."

me: "what? You'd CUT OFF MY FINGER?"

son: "well yeah. It's WAR and its just your finger, not you"

me: "hmm. my finger isn't me? ... ok nevermind, let's just go back to its never a good idea to unleash the plague on humanity"

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My youngest son is home from school on the edge of better with strep throat. He's not contagious at this point thanks to modern medicine but he doesn't feel good so he's home. He's 8. He's made me snort today, no not cocaine, I dont do that sort of thing, but like laugh myself silly snorting till he makes fun of me "Mommmmm" ::giggle:: Here's how it started.

Now keep in mind. He's 8. He thinks all things related to the bathroom and bodily functions are hysterical.

I'm standing and getting juice glasses down and he comes and stands beside me while we discuss how he feels and whether he thinks school is a good idea today. Now I realize that might be dangerous, but he LIKES school so he's honest about it. He prefers to go so this isn't out of the ordinary. When suddenly he farts loud.

Now normally this would be a cause for me to sigh while he laughs and my older son makes loud comments about the entire thing but today is different. Today I say his name as if to remind him to say "excuse me" and he looks at me with a super overdramatic arched eyebrow (you seriously would have to see this face) and goes "what, THAT wasn't me, it was YOU!" and he doesn't laugh at all. His change in tactics make me take that mental step back and then I explode in laughter. So much for my stance that farting isn't funny.

But that wasn't the end. After the bus comes and son1 rides off, he's watching cartoons while I get ready for work. He comes running in:

"Mom! They just called Allstate Poop!"
me: "What?"
son2: "They just called Allstate poop. And Geiko they are poop too"
me: "who did?"
son2: "the commercial"

To clarify he's offended. My mom works at Allstate and he thinks we are in very good hands.

5 min later, he comes to report another offensive commercial. I'm intrigued but I am getting ready and really who knows what sort of mud slinging commercials someone is putting out there and at least its not calling them real offensive language right?

So we head out to work and he hangs out a little and afterwards he wants to stop by the Allstate office. So we do. And he has to tell the poop story to everyone in there. He's hugely offended and gesturing in incredulousness (if that is even a word). My mom is smart though: "Did they use the word poop"

son2: "they called Allstate poop" and then he proceeds to tell how much money they claim you are paying/losing for various companies

mom: "did they actually say the word 'poop'"

son2: "No, not really, but that is pretty much what they were SAYING right?"

He's so smart. He got the underlying message and translated the profanity to language I could understand LOL

You know you don't HAVE to hunt for your food right?

(aka please don't kill the furry little animals)

But now that you did and its pouring down rain, I find myself having an ethical dilemna.

So here is how today is going so far (well since the last time I spewed stuff on this page). Ok, I know its not ALL that has happened, but its all that I'm going to tell you about because the rest really isn't any of your business.

I took a shower (no that isn't the unusual part) and get out and the dog wants in. Well of course he does, its pouring down rain now. So I start to open the backdoor and notice he has a stuffed toy in his mouth.

Hmm, to appreciate this scene you need some backstory.

My dog --




No, that picture isn't REALLY my dog. But it looks just like him and it might be if I could get him to stand still and he didn't have blood all over his paws right now and a dead rabbit in his mouth, but I digress.

My dog is 3 years old almost exactly. He's a bullmastiff in case you can't tell and he weighs a bit more than this example, about 110 lbs. Until recently he was a master whiner if he could lay on the couch all day. Ok that isn't quite accurate he still whines, if I could record it and share it with you, you'd be suitably impressed. I promise.

Anyway, as I previously mentioned he's the CHICKEN KILLER! No wait, that isn't really right, I just let my emotions run away with me POOR FUZZY FOOTED CHICKEN Ok, give me a moment to collect myself....

Actually I love my dog. I used to carry him through the fields on walks because he'd whine and be too tired to go on (did I say he was a master whiner, I wasn't joking). Anyway, so he killed the chicken. And not to paint him in a bad light, but the very day after, he accidentally took out my 18 year old cat. This I am sure wasn't his fault, she had a seizure and he was "helping" but anyway back to today and my shower.

I open the backdoor to find this:

What I think is one of his stuffed toys that sometimes get left outside in the yard, is actually an adult rabbit. Thankfully this picture isn't too gory or clear. I know, normally a clear shot would be nice, but in this case I'm saving you from EWWW


So here is the thing. I'm torn. Its raining hard. I want to let my dog in. He wants to bring in his "dinner" Umm, not. I do not want the poor rabbit to be all nasty on the deck, but its raining and I don't want to touch the carcass either nor bury him properly in the pouring down rain.

I'm torn. Poor rabbit deserves a decent burial BUT maybe that is a waste. Maybe letting the dog eat her and the whole Circle of Life thing is the way it should go.


I really don't know, but that thing is NOT coming in the house.