I'm just like David Sedaris

ok, not really even close. That comment was overexuberant and outright delusional, but its raining and the dog has a dead rabbit that I can't figure out what to do with and this is sort of how my real conversation went today:

me to my husband (let's for future reference say he is H. Of course that isn't his initial and I realize there might be more H's in my life but I can't call him H1 because that is too close to H1N1 and he's an overall good guy): "I should post that on the blog" (ok to clarify not the h1n1 comment, this was about something else...but anyway...)

H: "Sure. Why not?"

me "...by the way, the cool dandelion picture...
I stole that picture btw, its probably a felony
I think its an album cover I have no idea
I have no right to it and I blatantly took it LOL I'm soooo bad"

H: "I will visit you in prison"

me: "that is kind of you"

H: "I'll keep your comissary card supplied with funds for you."

(wow, who knew prisoners had cards to spend things on, that is a new one I have to think about...)

me: "I knew I loved you for a reason"

But seriously I did clip the dandelion picture and I apologize. If I knew where it rightfully came from I'd give proper credit but I clipped it from someone who had no more right to it than I did. So if that is you, let me know. I'll make restitution. I don't really want a commissary card. Maybe a platinum visa, but not a commissary I don't think they sell things I like.

Me: "heh that last little bit of conversation should be on the blog LOL"

H: "I would not want you to go without. ... Sure why not?"

Me: "I'm like David Sedaris when he's talking about his sister...the one with the bird at the end "forgive me forgive me forgive me"...where his family hates him because anything they say can be used"

H: "Yes, I see how you are now"

You know you don't HAVE to hunt for your food right?

(aka please don't kill the furry little animals)

But now that you did and its pouring down rain, I find myself having an ethical dilemna.

So here is how today is going so far (well since the last time I spewed stuff on this page). Ok, I know its not ALL that has happened, but its all that I'm going to tell you about because the rest really isn't any of your business.

I took a shower (no that isn't the unusual part) and get out and the dog wants in. Well of course he does, its pouring down rain now. So I start to open the backdoor and notice he has a stuffed toy in his mouth.

Hmm, to appreciate this scene you need some backstory.

My dog --




No, that picture isn't REALLY my dog. But it looks just like him and it might be if I could get him to stand still and he didn't have blood all over his paws right now and a dead rabbit in his mouth, but I digress.

My dog is 3 years old almost exactly. He's a bullmastiff in case you can't tell and he weighs a bit more than this example, about 110 lbs. Until recently he was a master whiner if he could lay on the couch all day. Ok that isn't quite accurate he still whines, if I could record it and share it with you, you'd be suitably impressed. I promise.

Anyway, as I previously mentioned he's the CHICKEN KILLER! No wait, that isn't really right, I just let my emotions run away with me POOR FUZZY FOOTED CHICKEN Ok, give me a moment to collect myself....

Actually I love my dog. I used to carry him through the fields on walks because he'd whine and be too tired to go on (did I say he was a master whiner, I wasn't joking). Anyway, so he killed the chicken. And not to paint him in a bad light, but the very day after, he accidentally took out my 18 year old cat. This I am sure wasn't his fault, she had a seizure and he was "helping" but anyway back to today and my shower.

I open the backdoor to find this:

What I think is one of his stuffed toys that sometimes get left outside in the yard, is actually an adult rabbit. Thankfully this picture isn't too gory or clear. I know, normally a clear shot would be nice, but in this case I'm saving you from EWWW


So here is the thing. I'm torn. Its raining hard. I want to let my dog in. He wants to bring in his "dinner" Umm, not. I do not want the poor rabbit to be all nasty on the deck, but its raining and I don't want to touch the carcass either nor bury him properly in the pouring down rain.

I'm torn. Poor rabbit deserves a decent burial BUT maybe that is a waste. Maybe letting the dog eat her and the whole Circle of Life thing is the way it should go.


I really don't know, but that thing is NOT coming in the house.